What Makes a “Godly” Marriage?

Intro:

SLIDE OF THE DAM

Where would you go in God’s Word to define God’s intent for Marriage? Where are the examples of a “Good” marriage? BOOKS!!! But it is much more than a good marriage, what about a “godly” marriage?- Subjective. Even our culture would like to weigh in on this topic.

Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:5, Mark 10:7 and Ephesians 5:22-33 mirror one another (Like the two uprights on a football field). There is a lot of space inbetween.

The Song of Solomon

So why do I need to hear this?

Today we are not just talking about a wedding, but a marriage. This is applicable to those that are thinking of getting married, just got married, or have been married longer than they were single, and those who whose marriages were broken.

Outline:

“Leave”: Starting Something New (vs.)

“Hold Fast”: Sacrificing My Life for Yours (vs.)

“Becoming One”: Sex does not eqaul Intimacy (vs.)

Summary of the Chapter:

Memory verse of the Chapter: Genesis 2:24–25 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Illustration: Every book from the Pastor’s libraries on marriage.

Prayer:

“Leave”: Starting Something New (Gen. 2:24)

Therefore (vs.)

therefore

God created everything in 6 days- God said, God saw/separated, God Called- Very Good!!

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden (Eden-pleasure, everything is provided that would ever be needed- 4 rivers, precious stones, food, etc.)

to work it

to keep it

Commanded to eat freely every tree in the garden but the tree of the knolwedge of good and evil- surely you will die

Not good that man should be alone- not good with idea of “completeness” not evil- The Genesis Account, 321). in the context of companionship and having dominion over creation and kinds creating after their kind.

I will make a helper fit for him- suitable that would fit

Helper- reference to God in many places.

no animals

God creates one from the rib of Adam- WOMAN

Dr. Aucoin quoted Thomas Howard- “The choreography of Heaven is my life for yours”. If that is true, than the choreography of Hell is my life for me. Everyone has been struggling in their footing and partnership.

PICS of the GARDEN- ORDER FIRST, then WEEDS

A Man (vs.)

a man

shall leave (Heb)- “ya-azab” verb, imperfect, 3rd, masc, sg, to leave behind, to depart and not take along, either intentionally or by neglect or forgetfulness. Not to abandon, reject, or neglect.

shall leave (Grk)- “kataleipsei” verb, fut, act, ind, 3rd, sg to leave behind- to depart and not take along either intentionally or by neglect or forgetfulness

his father

and his mother

Genesis 44:22 “We said to my lord, ‘The boy cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’”

Ephesians: “My life for yours” (vs.)

Context: Ephesians 2:8–10 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 4:17 “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.”

Ephesians 5:1 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.”

Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,”

In the context of putting off and putting on, Starting something new starts with your relationship with God. Before we enter into a marriage relationship we first must have a relationship with our creator!

Adam was living out of a relationship with his creator before God created a helper fit for him.

Everything we read in Ephesian is not only true for the believer but should also be true about their relationship with others, starting with their spouse

Application/Implications:

Renew the Mind (the Scriptures):

What caught your attention in this section?

Which verses or words would you like to study a little more this week?

Engage the Heart (humility vs. pride):

“Leaving”: Starting something New

What do you do when you think that you are leaving behind a broken home and a shattered life only to find out that some of the issues still follow you? Is it possible to have a godly marriage even if you did not grow up with an example of a godly marriage?

What do you do when you realize that you would rather go back to the environment you came from where you were the favoured child, or had it easier?

Both of these questions bring out the reality that “leaving” does not just mean that you move out of the house, but that you are starting something new. How many of us have moved out of our parents houses, but have not moved on from what we experienced and are still suffering from it today?

Enlist the Body (faith steps):

How will I seek a fresh start this week?

Transitional phrase: Leaving requires that we start something new. That is not to say that everything is rejected that came before, but you are now entering into a relationship with someone that is unlike anything else you have before.

“Hold Fast”: Sacrificing My Life for Yours (v. 24)

Hold fast (vs.)

and hold fast Heb (54x, this one is unique and only used 1x)- “da-baq” verb, qal, wqatal (waw + perfect), 3rd, masc, sg, to join (unite with)- to be or become joined or united or linked

and hold fast Grk- Eph. 5:31 “proskoll-eh-th-eh-setai” future, pass, ind, 3rd, sg to cling, glue oneself to, to be emotionally or intellectually attached to someone; conceived of as gluing or attaching oneself to something else.

Sugarland, “stuck like glue”

to his wife- now, I don’t think that this is meant to be only directed towards the man.

Sacrifical love (vs.)

Husbands, love your wives as christ loved the church

and gave himself up for her- sometimes we have said that we would be willing to die for our spouse, “I would give my life for you”. Yet we are not willing to change what we want in this moment.

Philippians 2:3–4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

that He might sanctify her- apart from the HS, God has given you to be the main agent of change in the life of your spouse.

having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word- hold fast means that you are in the habit of holding fast to the Word of God together.

Wives

let the wife see that she respects her husband

Application/Implications:

Renew the Mind (the Scriptures):

What caught your attention in this section?

Which verses or words would you like to study a little more this week?

Engage the Heart (humility vs. pride):

Did you ever play the game “Huckle, Buckle”? It is a camp game where you are your partner are on opposite sides of the playing field. Someone calls out a body part, “ear, nose, knee, etc” you had to run towards each other and touch. It was basically like playing full body-contact football with your best friend! Talk about injuries! Marriage can be like that

How do I define loving my spouse?

in what ways did I joyfully put my spouse ahead of my wants this week?

When was the last time I shared how God has been at work in my life or what I am struggling with?

Where are reading in God’s Word? Do I know where my spouse is reading?

Enlist the Body (faith steps):

Hold Fast- Glue

Transitional phrase: in order to hold fast to something or someone, it requires that we give up something or someone.

“Become One”: Sex does not equal intimacy (v. 24)

Become one flesh (vs.)

and they become (Heb)- “ha-yu” verb, Qal, wqatal (waw + perfect), 3rd, pl to become (condition)- to enter or assume a certain state or condition.

and they become (Grk)-

one flesh- talking about physical union. It may result in children and it might not, but the husband and wife are made one flesh, not the parents and the child.

1 Corinthians 6:16 “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.””

Nourish and Cherish (vs.)

In the same way husbands should (taking the example of Jesus)

love their their wives

as their own bodies

He who loves his wife loves himself

Nourishes- “ektrephei” prese act, ind, 3rd, sg to sustain. Used in Eph 6:4 in regards to bringing up children

and cherishes- “thalpei” pres, act, ind, 3rd, sg, warm, to treat with tenderness and affection; conceibed of as warming something up

not force

not manipulate

not withhold

Application/Implications:

Renew the Mind (the Scriptures):

What caught your attention in this section?

Which verses or words would you like to study a little more this week?

Engage the Heart (humility vs. pride):

You want to know one of the worst thing I have brought to my marriage with Jessi, everyone else’s idea of what it means to be the “perfect” husband and not her husband.

Central is not my bride, Jessi is. Central is Jesus bride

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Enlist the Body (faith steps):

Choreography Slide

FOOTBALL PIC

Discussion Starters:

What does it look/sound like for you to start something new today?

How are you challenged by, “My life for yours”?

How am I going to love my spouse this week (nourish, cherish)?

Song:

Next Week’s Sermon: Continue our series on Marriage- Love and Respect Eph 5

Benediction/Looking ahead: INVITE PEOPLE TO THE CAFE